Travel Tips for Couples: Traveling with Your Partner

My husband and I have taken a lot of trips together over our 13-year marriage. I won’t pretend every single one has been seamless, but we’ve learned a lot through the ups and downs of planning and traveling. Here’s what we’ve learned: our best travel tips for couples.

Urban street scene with pedestrians walking on cobblestone pavement at sunset.

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Open communication is key

Before you even think about starting to plan your trip, commit to being open in your communication through the whole process and the entire trip. Do we always do this perfectly? Of course not. But it’s the goal.

When I’m honest with Hubby about where I want to go and what I want to do, and vice versa, then we can work together on solutions if our expectations don’t line up or make sure that our itinerary accommodates both our wishes.

I also deal with anxiety when I travel and can get overstimulated. Hubby knows that when I say, “I need to step outside for some air,” I really need to step outside…but he also knows from experience that he doesn’t need to come with me because I’ve been open with him about my needs and expectations.

Decide how you’re going to approach planning

This is important. How are the two of you going to handle planning this trip together?

Is one of you going to be the primary planner while the other cheers from the sidelines, offering input when requested or needed?
Will one of you choose accommodations while the other books activities and researches dining options?
Will all planning and decisions be made in tandem?

Agree at the outset about how the trip planning will be executed, and follow the plan so details don’t fall through the cracks.

In our family, I’m the primary planner, but I check in with Hubby as I plan, especially if I’m of two minds on something or am thinking about going out of bounds on our budget in a particular area.

And of course, I make sure to ask what, if any, particular sights or activities he’s interested in adding to the itinerary.

Choosing your destination

Selecting a destination as a couple can be difficult, particularly if you each enjoy different aspects of traveling or different kinds of destinations.

Sometimes we take turns picking from our bucket list destinations. Sometimes we go where a great flight deal leads us. Sometimes we travel for an event, and the destination is secondary. Sometimes I get a great idea and have to really work to sell Hubby on the idea.

If you and your partner are having trouble making a decision, here are some ways you can narrow things down.

overhead view of a couple sitting on a dark wood floor next to an open packed suitcase. The woman is on a laptop computer and the man is holding a map and a pencil.

Considering your travel interests

Start by making a list of your individual travel preferences. Look for areas of overlap and ways you can get the best of both worlds. If one loves beaches and the other prefers cities, look for a coastal city with nearby beaches.
Think about special shared hobbies or passions. Are you both avid hikers or museum buffs?
Do you want to explore a single destination deeply or roam around a bit and see a little of everything in a larger area?

Still not sure where your next trip should be? The Destination Decision Maker DIY strategy session helps you decide with a repeatable framework you can use anytime.

Planning your trip

I won’t belabor these points, since I’ve covered the basics in other blog posts, but some aspects of travel planning can be specific to couples’ travel.

Setting a budget

The key here will be to have a good conversation to ensure your travel budget aligns with your family’s overall financial goals.

Determine how much you’re willing to spend as a couple. Consider all expenses like transportation, accommodations, food, activities, and souvenirs.
Discuss what tradeoffs you’re willing to make. For example, do you want to stay in more budget-friendly accommodations so you can splurge at nicer restaurants or enjoy more premium activities?
Be realistic and leave some wiggle room for unexpected costs. We like to build in an extra 10% here.
Diligently track your spending as you travel. This will save you from horrible surprises on your credit card bill or bank statements once you arrive home.

For my full travel budget framework (which makes a great starting place), see my blog post on creating a travel budget.

Timing your travel

Of course, you want to choose a travel timeframe that works for both of your schedules. But you will also want to consider factors like weather, peak tourist seasons, and local events at your destination.

Off-season or shoulder season travel often means lower prices and fewer crowds. However, check if the attractions or activities/services you want to visit will be open.
Give yourselves enough time to truly relax and explore. Some destinations can be visited in a few days, but some truly deserve more time.

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Booking accommodations

This is where I tend to get stuck when planning my own travel, because the options can (depending on destination) can seem so limitless.

Here’s what I prioritize for us as a couple when choosing where to stay:

Proximity to our top priority activities and attractions (within walking distance is a HUGE plus).
Proximity to good dining options and/or grocery stores.
Rate and amenities (free breakfast is a major plus)
Guest reviews (always taken with a grain of salt, especially on major websites like Yelp or TripAdvisor)
Special features like scenic views, balcony, on-site dining, full kitchen or kitchenette, in-room fireplace, etc.

Creating an itinerary

Planning activities you’ll both enjoy can sometimes be a challenge. I find that getting the input I need to plan well is the key here.

If Hubby doesn’t already know what kinds of activities he wants to do at a certain destination, he’s usually happy to let me take control completely and then present my top choices to him, along with prices. We make final decisions together from my shortlist.

I always make sure to research and book popular attractions in advance to avoid disappointment.

For my full process on this, see my complete guide to building your itinerary.

people browsing books in front of the Shakespeare and Company bookstore in Paris — *Shakespeare & Co. in Paris. Photo: Plan, Ready, Go.*

Balancing sightseeing and relaxation

We like to mix fun activities with downtime to create a well-rounded trip, choosing destinations that offer plenty of opportunities for both. Here are some things to keep in mind as you plan your itinerary:

Are you both early risers eager to explore, or do you prefer leisurely mornings?
We like to plan slower days between our more jam-packed days.
On longer trips, we like to build in what we call a “blank day” or a couple of “blank afternoons” that allow us to explore spontaneously or return to favorite spots if we can.

See my post all about balancing sightseeing and relaxation for more ideas.

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Confer on packing

While Hubby and I have completely different packing philosophies, we do at least put our heads together a little bit to make sure we have everything covered and we’re not bringing more of anything than we need to.

For example, on our trip to South Dakota and Wyoming, he packed our Rand McNally Road Atlas in his bag and often brings adhesive bandages (while I would likely never think to pack those).

These days, I also add laundry detergent sheets to my packing list for longer trips so we can do laundry on the road, but there would be no need for him to pack those as well. I’m also the one packing the variety pack of pain relievers.

You get the idea.

Dining choices (making everyone happy)

I am a vegetarian, and Hubby has to eat gluten-free, so choosing the right place to eat is quite important to us. This means doing detailed restaurant research before we travel.

And as much as possible, we choose accommodation options with kitchenettes or even full kitchens to make food choices even easier. Choosing self-catering accommodations can also be a great way to save money on travel.

We also like to pick a few nights on our trip to splurge on special restaurants for date nights, often pairing the nice meal with an evening walk or other local activity.

Hiking couple outdoors with mountains in background, dressed in waterproof gear for outdoor adventur. — *Be flexible and keep a good sense of humor. You never know when the weather will act up. Photo: Plan, Ready, Go.*

Discuss solo vs. doing only joint sightseeing

My family has had a general travel rule that anyone can opt out of any activity whenever, but when traveling just as a couple, that would leave one partner high and dry.

That doesn’t mean you can’t leave room for some solo adventures if you’re traveling as a couple. I would just strongly recommend you discuss expectations before you travel.

On our trip to Paris, we built a “blank” day into our itinerary, and one of the things Hubby really wanted to do was go back to the Palais Garnier because he loved it so much. Once was enough for me, so we split up for a couple of hours.

He did the self-guided Paris Opera House Tour while I did some shopping nearby and got coffee. Win-win!

Handling conflict while traveling

When two humans travel together, there can be conflicts. Travel can be stressful, plus on top of that, maybe things are going wrong, and you’re not getting enough sleep, etc. Just don’t let it ruin your trip.

Here are a few rules we try to follow:

Keep arguments private. If you need to discuss something where there’s a chance one or both of you might get emotional, do NOT do it in public. Please.
Getting back to the very first tip…be open and honest.
Listen well to your partner and what he or she is saying. Was there an unmet expectation? Something forgotten? A broken promise?
And…being a little humorous: is your partner perhaps just a little hangry? I’ve been known to get a little snippy when I need a meal. I’m just saying.

The bottom line

Every couple is different, and you’ll find your own groove the more you travel together. But if I had to boil it all down to one thing? Just keep talking to each other: both before and during the trip. It makes all the difference.